i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
