just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
