im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
