Where is the hickey?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
