im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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