I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
MIDGETS
????
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
