i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
