She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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