there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
