can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize