If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
