Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize