just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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