the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
