it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
