What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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