he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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