i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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