My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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