does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
