i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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