Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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