Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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