There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize