I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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