I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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