I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
