Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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