I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
