are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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