So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
