Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
