All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
