Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
