Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Duck Duck Cougar?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
