if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
