I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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