You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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