In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize