I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
