Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
