just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
