hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
