Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize