ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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