the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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