Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
