I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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