so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
