I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
