I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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