My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just pee around me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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