AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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