He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
