based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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