Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
