Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
