What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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