Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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