so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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