Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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