yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
