I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
