i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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