i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
