At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
