so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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